10 Tips On Becoming A “Popular” Healthy Living Blog

by laury on February 2, 2012 · 72 comments

I’ve been for blogging about 3 years now and I found that while I was pregnant my blog popularity was at an all-time high. I mean, if you have no idea who I am…I’ll give it to you in the words of the great Jay-Z : “I don’t know how to put this…I’m kind of a big deal.”

You people loved you some pregnant lady bloggers.

Personally I can’t get enough of the pregnant ladies since having a little one of my own –so I don’t blame you.

With that being said my advice to you is if you want to be a popular blogger–get yourself knocked-up!

It’s pretty much why I was so eager to conceive. Naturally. [<–*Cough* Attention whore!]

Okay…maybe motherhood for blog hits is not ideal for everyone. I get it.

So, I did some serious market research on this one. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about here.

If you want the full-proof method to quadrupling your blog hits, here’s a list of things that are sure to get you there:

1. Get pregnant

laury (117) copy 2

2. Post pornographic photos of your oatmeal on a daily basis.

RaspberryOvernightOats-500x333

My Salesman

3. Call your significant other by ANYTHING other than their first name. “Hubster”The Boy” “Manfriend”  “Meow Meow” and “Bug” are all suitable nicknames. You could also use an acronym or just the first initial. Or mix it up and use an anagram. Get creative.

I couldn’t tell you what this has to do with healthy living, but people sure do think it’s cute.

cookie

4.To make yourself relatable, post a photo of the small cookie you ate after a 10 mile run. Never ever admit to eating more than that, even though you probably did. People are judging you. This way, when you’re called out you can play the “I don’t post everything I eat” card.

Kind of like when I eat an entire bar of NibMor chocolate but don’t tell you guys about it. Whoops.


go-ahead-its-gluten-free

(source)

5. Go gluten-free, dairy-free, raw-vegan and paleo all in the same week. Then write a long post explaining why you are no longer raw, vegan, paleo, dairy or gluten-free. Follow it with a photo a a Blizzard from Dairy Queen and how you only ate 1/4 of it. People are judging you.

photo-6

6. Post lots and lots and lots of toolbag self portraits of yourself. Post-workout or otherwise. The more per post the better. Preferably with an instagram filter, because filters make you look so pretty. People love looking at you. Just make sure the angle is good because they will judge you if it isn’t.

which brings me to my next rule…

SAMSUNG-NX10-self-timer

(source)

7. Two words: “self-timer.” Use it wisely.

vita-mix-5200-blender

(source)

8. If your blender costs less than $300. you have no chance.

 

9. Make sure to comment on AT LEAST 75 blogs per day.

Say something like:

“OMG! Your oatmeal is giving me a foodgasm!!!!!” Open-mouthed smile

After a while you will become so popular that you will no longer have to comment on any blogs.– “If you comment, they will come.”

WalnutMilkjar

10. “Nut milk,” “nut butter” and “chia seeds” should all be staples in your diet. In fact, you could probably live off of those three items alone.

———-

Once you become a very very very popular healthy living blogger you need to read this article. Because people are judging you.

Question of the day (<—ALWAYS include one of these!)

What are your tips on becoming a “popular” healthy living blogger?

 

You may also enjoy:  “Sh*t Healthy Living Bloggers Say

See you next time with a post on everything I eat from the POV of a nursing mom. I’m being serious. Don’t judge me.

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{ 67 comments… read them below or add one }

1 the delicate place February 2, 2012 at 4:16 pm

ahahahahaa well. looks like my blog will never be popular…no kids, i don’t eat oats & nate gets called by his first name on the blog ;p honestly i have no tips for traffic…you shouldn’t ask me. i post for myself and am pretty surprised people even read the stuff i put out anyway! i feel like everyone is pregnant/just gave birth or is planning a wedding right now. i’m totally out of those loops!

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2 laury February 2, 2012 at 4:19 pm

:p

You know you’re one of my favorite though. That’s all that matters, right???

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3 Katie February 3, 2012 at 1:26 am

I was going to say this exact same thing!

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4 Kaitlin @4loveofcarrots February 2, 2012 at 4:17 pm

you are hilarious!

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5 laury February 2, 2012 at 5:45 pm

:p

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6 Julie (A Case of the Runs) February 2, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Well, that explains the un-popularity of my blog, hah! Although I did notice a small spike in traffic after I got engaged. Probably totally unrelated.

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7 laury February 2, 2012 at 4:56 pm

You got engaged!!!?? Woot! I’m such a bad friend, I’m so behind!!

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8 Jeanna February 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Oh my gravy. This is by far one of the greatest posts from any blog I have ever read. Thank you so much for this one made me laugh and think about my own blog at the same time. 🙂

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9 laury February 2, 2012 at 5:42 pm

😉

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10 Heidi February 2, 2012 at 5:11 pm

This made me smile! I read all of these blogs daily – I guess I better get commenting! Either that or get busy on baby #6.

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11 laury February 2, 2012 at 5:42 pm

yes you better!!! 😉

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12 Madeline @ Food, FItness, and Family February 2, 2012 at 5:28 pm

BAHAHAHAHAHA.

You just made my day. LOVE IT 🙂

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13 laury February 2, 2012 at 11:37 pm

so glad!

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14 Tara Burner February 2, 2012 at 5:34 pm

ROFLMAO and I am cuz I think I’m guilty of more than just a few of those things! LOL
though i was vegan for A LOT of years til just recently so at least that didnt change in a week! 😉

and i havent been prego in 16 yrs thank God and never will be again….

dont have a significant other and no blender (only cuz it caught fire back in Nov. and I haven’t replaced it..cuz ummmm I’m holding out for Ninja, BlendTec or Vitamix LOL)

dont judge me 😉

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15 laury February 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Ha! I am guilty of almost all of it 😉 And I’d go with the Vitmax hands down!

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16 thehealthyapron February 2, 2012 at 5:41 pm

The saddest thing about this post is that SO many many many bloggers do these things every day! I think I do two: post self-portraits or just pictures of what’s going on in my life and I’m pregnant! I hope that means I’ll get even MORE readers!

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17 laury February 2, 2012 at 5:45 pm

I think getting pregnant was the smartest thing you could have ever done for The Healthy Apron.

I’m so guilty. I wonder if I’ll be as popular when baby #2 is on the way? Or is a first time mom thing? Time will tell.

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18 Katie February 2, 2012 at 5:54 pm

LOL love this! My cats name is Meow Meow! 🙂

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19 laury February 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Love your cat!

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20 allison February 2, 2012 at 6:25 pm

AHHHHHHHH! I was dying reading this! So hilarious:):):)

Post pet pictures, truly the way to become popular lol;)

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21 laury February 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm

yes!!!!! Munchkin needs more face time!

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22 Jennifer (The Gourmetour) February 2, 2012 at 7:18 pm

HAHAHA ssooo funny. I loved it. I’ve actually found that i’ve fallen off the blog-bandwagon a bit for some of these stereotypes. I’m trying to stay true to what I want to blog about… readers or not!

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23 laury February 2, 2012 at 11:30 pm

That’s great!

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24 Lisa February 2, 2012 at 7:24 pm

This is great–it’s so interesting how blog world has its own rules for being “cool.” I can honestly say I’ve never been very cool by the status quo’s standards—I was very relieved when I was a teenager and stopped trying to fit in. I have this corny belief that if I just do what feels right to me, then I will attract the people who I’m meant to connect with (and that removes any pressure about needing to connect in high numbers or be popular). If I tried to force something, it wouldn’t feel right —that being said, I’ve definitely done a few of the cliche bloggy things!

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25 laury February 2, 2012 at 11:33 pm

That’s the best thing I’ve heard in a long time. Instead of forcing something, connect with people who feel right. My mom embedded into my head at a young age to be a leader, not a follower. I always beat a little to my own drum but I too am guilty of conforming to cliches IRL and in the blog world!

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26 Chantal February 2, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Hahahahaha, Laury this was one of your best posts EVER. Sad thing is… they’re so true… and for half of them, I don’t even know why!

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27 laury February 2, 2012 at 11:33 pm

I know, right??

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28 christina February 2, 2012 at 10:14 pm

you covered them all. i couldn’t have done a better job. SO AWESOME!!

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29 laury February 2, 2012 at 11:33 pm

ha! thanks, Christina!

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30 MCM Mama February 2, 2012 at 10:28 pm

So that’s what my problem is. I’m not only not pregnant, my kids are outgrowing the “cute and willing to be posted on the blog” page. I do refer to my husband by a nickname though…

Hilarious post!

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31 laury February 2, 2012 at 11:35 pm

thanks!

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32 May February 3, 2012 at 12:16 am

I don’t get it!

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33 Keri @ Blue-Eyed Runner February 3, 2012 at 7:48 am

Hahaha i love it.

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34 Pure2raw twins February 3, 2012 at 8:53 am

this post made us laugh, all so true 🙂
we got huge hits when we shared our struggles with acne and when Lori got engaged last year. too funny what people what to see and how certain blogs can post so many damn pictures of oatmeal and people every time think it is the greatest thing ever. and for the significant other thing – Lori calls Gary by his name, no nickname there…. mmmm maybe should think of one and see if that helps with more blog traffic haha

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35 Kat February 3, 2012 at 10:18 am

Hahaha this is a great post!! I guess I should just accept that I will NEVER be one of the popular kids. I wasnt in high school either. I’ll live 😉

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36 Natasha February 3, 2012 at 11:07 am

Yeah there is a “style” of “blognistas” isn’t there? But – I suppose it works…some of the verbiage can be a bit much – and kinda “sorority-like” – check out “Urban Dictionary” for the definition.
I will say that regardless of anything – your blog is real, from the heart, and down to earth. Keep on keepin’ on!

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37 laury February 3, 2012 at 12:32 pm

I knew I was getting old when I had to check urban dictionary just to read blogs

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38 Natasha February 3, 2012 at 12:49 pm

LOL – exactly.

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39 Maria@healthydiaries February 3, 2012 at 11:09 am

This was great Laury, thanks for the laughs 🙂 I have to admit I really wanted our blog to be popular in the beginning. Now, I don’t care as much. I’m just glad that I’ve been able to make a few great friendships. Including you 🙂 It’ll be interesting to see if we get more hits since Lisa is pregnant.

Have a great weekend !

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40 Lisa @ Healthy Diaries February 3, 2012 at 11:54 am

LOVED this post! You are one funny girl Laury!! Hahah so is that why people are vising my blog? Cause I’m pregnant? hahaha

I’m try not to focus on getting more readers and site hits. I try to make interesting posts and just hope that my readers will enjoy them!

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41 laury February 3, 2012 at 12:35 pm

best thing to happen the the blog!!!

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42 Tiffany @ Snack Snark Bark February 3, 2012 at 12:13 pm

LAURY!!!! I frickin love this list…..mostly because it’s soo soooo sooooo so true. I stopped reading blogs like that long ago but know exactly which ones you are talking about. Well done 🙂

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43 diana@mymarblerye February 3, 2012 at 12:19 pm

1)Host shitty giveaways: coupons, chia seeds, headbands..ANYTHING!
2) tweet up a storm! Retweet compliments to you! follow everything with the RIGHT hashtag! #fitblog #workout #healthyliving ANYTHING!!!
3) Give up your social life and live on the computer and phone every night! Who needs happy hour when you got 2 tweet chats you gotta attend to!

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44 Christie February 3, 2012 at 12:27 pm

OMGenius additions.

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45 laury February 3, 2012 at 12:31 pm

definitely. And I’m guilty of some of those

me=tool

I hate twitter chats though

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46 Christie February 3, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Hysterical…I am only guilty of one of those things which is that I call my significant other the hubster, but I do that cause he’s “kind of a big deal”…lol. At list now I know my lack of paopularity comes from my drive to be an individual. 🙂

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47 Christie February 3, 2012 at 12:30 pm

or maybe iit’s because I can’t spell.

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48 Heather @ Get Healthy with Heathee February 3, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Haha you are hilarious lady. And I’m so glad I’m pregant, now they’ll come swarming in!! 😉

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49 Amy February 3, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Oh my gosh, love it, you are too funny 🙂

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50 chelsey @ clean eating chelsey February 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I about died reading this – oh my gosh, so stinkin’ funny!!

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51 StoriesAndSweetPotatoes February 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm

This is hilarious and true. Everyone is pregnant. Some have to be faking.

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52 Kathleen @ KatsHealthCorner February 3, 2012 at 10:28 pm

He-he, you are so amazing. <3 I love Munchkin, btw. That's his name, right? Not a nickname?

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53 Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin February 3, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Hahaha love this!!!

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54 Heather @ Better With Veggies February 3, 2012 at 11:24 pm

This is awesome! More of these apply to me than I would like to admit. 🙂

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55 Lee February 4, 2012 at 8:33 am

HAHAHA! I absolutely adore this list. “meow mew”

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56 Allison (Allison's Delicious Life) February 4, 2012 at 1:24 pm

hahahah this made me laugh. soooo true

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57 Heather@Just a Colorado Gal February 4, 2012 at 5:27 pm

This is probably the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile 🙂 You totally nailed all of them!

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58 ally February 4, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Nice work! I thinking blogging almost daily is key too…even if your post says nothing of substance….

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59 Tiff @ Love Sweat and Beers February 7, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Haha – these are good. I judge someone for ONLY having 1/4 Blizzard. I think that’s darn near impossible! 😀

No tips from me – you’ve got it covered.

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60 Cindy February 10, 2012 at 8:58 am

Well, since I am single and rapidly approaching the end of being able to get preggers, that’s out. I can’t eat nuts (allergies) that’s out. I hate pics of myself, that’s out. I guess I’m screwed huh? Oh, and I hate oatmeal. That right there just ended my blogging career. 🙂

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61 Parita @ myinnershakti February 10, 2012 at 9:52 am

OMG! At first, I thought you were being serious and then…I got it! LOVE IT! Sometimes I wonder why my blog’s not “popular” and then I remember, it’s because it’s I don’t do any of the above…and I most likely never will! 🙂 Thanks for getting my Friday off to a funny start!

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62 Jess @ Blonde Ponytail February 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm

HILARIOUS! Time to get of the BC and scratch the house down payment for a blender! 🙂 These are pretty funny and I may be guilty of a few!

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63 lee / fitville February 11, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I can see why you’re popular. (Not that I’m judging you or this post, of course.) Think I’ll change the name of my blog to: Oatmeal Pron.

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64 laury February 14, 2012 at 12:06 am

that’s a great plan 😉

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65 Ali February 12, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Oh, man. That was cute, thanks for making me smile even though I am probably guilty myself.

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66 laury February 14, 2012 at 12:05 am

😀

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67 Lisa February 17, 2012 at 8:03 pm

I love this. Snarky & tongue-in-cheek but so damn true!!!! I Hate the posts devoted to oatmeal and if the SO is called “Hubz”. Yuck!

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